Jerry Garcia

8/11/05 Update:
Dave brings up an interesting point, one I had actually planned to include. I compare Jerry to Bono, who postures himself as this global savior yet cracks down on indie artists and vendors... hard. My recollection of the Dead is that of a huge cottage industry grown up around them... symbiosis. I can't think of a product in the world that hasn't had Garcia's face on it at some point. I don't know about the Bear guy and Jerry's estate, but, as I've said before in this blog, Jerry was an artist who cultivated grass roots enterprises and understood the value of that. He's almost the antithesis of an MJ or Bono to me, but, hey, if I'm wrong, clue me in.

So, he died ten years ago today. Given the impact this man has had on my life... got to post. When he died I was eight months pregnant with my daughter. I had planned to listen to the service on the radio. Four years earlier, I had danced, with great emotion, to the music played at Bill Graham's memorial, while very pregnant with my son. Now here I was again, pregnant and mourning. As the service began, I realized this wasn't Bill, this was Jerry... and I had to be there.

We drove up... I was sure I'd be able to hear the music on the radio... but no, I couldn't find the service carried on any station in the car... bay area and all. When we got there, the service was all over. It looked like a Dead show, but there was no Dead... the Dead were dead... no music, no Jerry, just a huge stage and a huge picture of him.

I approached the stage, so challenging while he was alive... easy now... not much competition to see the sea of flowers. So I missed you in the end baby, and I missed you the night I hung out with your band, but I was there for the music. How many nights did I stand three feet in front of you and watch you play that guitar?

I was there in the little clubs. I was there in the rockies with you. I respect you so much... what you did for music. You showed us how to make a band, how to build an audience, how to connect with an audience, how to build community based in love, how to expand your consciousness, how to think big, how to be curious, how to lead a simple, creative life, how to keep in touch with your inner child, how to spread a message, how to live, how to learn.

I miss you so much. There is no replacement. The reality I felt at those shows... it's just gone, isn't it? It's there in my heart, I'll never forget. But, I mean, things didn't work out like we planned huh? Age of Aquarius, dawn of a new age where we would leave the rat race behind for the simple life, the good life, the conscious life, the loving life, the free life... it never really took off did it? Why not? Greed? How long is it gonna take? Look at us now, worse than ever. It's still just an empty dream.

You played on, like the band on the Titanic. But, both went down. And when our free ride ends, when we use up our resources and burn out our planet, we'll look around at all that luxury at the bottom of the sea and what will our grandkids say? What will we say to them?

What I try to give my kids is wisdom, insight, the benefit of my life experience. The same kind of stuff Jerry gave me.

If I had the world to give, I’d give it to you
Long as you live, would you let it fall, or hold it all in your arms?

If I had a song to sing, I’d sing it to you
As long as you live, lullaby or maybe a plain serenade
Wouldn’t you laugh, dance, and cry or be afraid at the change you made

I may not have the world to give to you
But maybe I have a tune or two
Only if you let me be your world
Could I ever give this world to you

But I will give what love I have to give,
I will give what love I have to give,
I will give what love I have to give, long as I live.

If I had a star to give, I’d give it to you
Long as you live, would you have the time
To watch it shine, watch it shine
Or ask for the moon and heaven too? I’d give it to you.

Well maybe I’ve got no star to spare, or anything fine or even rare,
Only if you let me be your world, could I ever give this world to you.
Could I ever give this world to you.